Why am I reviewing these two releases together? The short answer is: they’re both synth-lead bands of recent who deserve this tiny little bit of plastering to balance out the karma of the arse-wiping the major papers have given them. The long one: now girls have become a bit passé, the labels have decided that boys deserve some attention again. And of course, while Professor Green and Example cover the middle-class ‘rap’ boys corner, Boyzone deal with the boy band slot once again, it was only a matter of time before ‘indie boys’ made an appearance. DING DING! ROUND ONE: In the red corner representing Sony Music Entertainment’s interests arrrreee Hurts. And in the blue corner representing Universal Music Group arrreee Everything Everything. Let’s see what punches each label have in store for each other, then. Hurts are quite simply a modern version of everything that was wrong with the 80s, the bad bits of the Pet Shop Boys, the remnants of Billy Joel’s ‘Vienna’ and soppy bits of Wham and Simply Red all piled together in shit hair cuts and a HORRIBLE video promo. So, not much luck there. Everything Everything meanwhile are more acceptable. But what is with these shit videos? Seriously. Anyway… ignoring the bad lyrics, they’ve a Friendly Fires influence, a chorus that repeats too often seeing as they at least have some interesting musical aspects which they should be allowed to expand on; all this makes Everything Everything a band I’m at least hopeful for – but I’m not buying their T-Shirt just yet. So far, the blue corner has caused some damage but the red corner is still looking pretty. We’ll be back on how this one plays out.
By Nicholas Burman.